Not So in Haste, My Heart

Not so in haste my heart!
Have faith in God, and wait;
Although He linger long,
He never comes too late.
He never cometh late;
He knoweth what is best;
Vex not thyself in vain;
Until He cometh, rest.
Until He cometh, rest,
Nor grudge the hours that roll;
The feet that wait for God
Are soonest at the goal.
Are soonest at the goal
That is not gained with speed;
Then hold thee still, my heart,
For I shall wait His lead.
During a recent excursion to Los Angeles to visit relatives of my wife we had the pleasure of visiting a church which was led by our relative by marriage. Although it has been many years since I visited a more traditional Methodist church it is not something that I am unfamiliar with.

I cracked open the hymnal and discovered a piece of paper which was a placeholder, intentionally or unintentionally I cannot be certain, for this hymn: Not So in Haste, My Heart.

Reviewing the lyrics left me feeling they might be particularly relevant for my life at the moment and so I snapped a picture. Later that evening I reviewed the song in its entirety and was shocked at the relevance for my life both now and for at least the past decade of my life.

Individuals struggle with many varying problems during their sojourn on this Earth and of one thing I am certain: my lot in this life is that of a frequent dissatisfaction with the routine, the regular lives that most live.  Before you jump to any conclusions about this being a good or bad thing let me tell you that it is not necessarily either. I have often viewed it as a good thing for me, for my life, simply because it has served as a driver or catalyst for much change. There are, however, many moments of doubt and agony which are the result of being uncertain about my current path, our goals, and our destination.

Often I envy those who can declare with certainty their goals, their desired or ideal career path, and find contentment in all things that they do.

It is during the times of doubt which I often begin to seek out new adventures, typically in distant regions of our world doing things which sound exciting. What does this look like in practice? It typically involves a new job in a new place, a new life, researching educational paths in the US or abroad which could lead to a new career or a tweak to my current one, or perhaps just binge-ordering books about Linguistics which is my real vice.

This time, when reviewing these lyrics I hope to maintain a bit if comfort in knowing who I am, my track record for discontentment, and slowly work towards the next fork in the road. What I hope to do differently this time is to have the foresight to make the decision in a way which is conducive to a more natural ending of a period of time rather than an abrupt, impatient, immature shift which lacks the refinement which comes with my supposed age. While I am always going to be impulsive and explore wild ideas and dreams, I hope to learn the most appropriate time and to content myself with my current situation. This seems such an attainable goal as I write these words but I am well aware that in a moment's notice I will again be seeking adventure elsewhere: here's to finding a healthy balance between these two opposing points of view.


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