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In a previous post, I outlined some of the reasons why I chose the word contentment to be my word for the year. Approximately 7 months later I can tell you that I almost wish that I hadn't chosen that word. For many reasons it has been a year in which we have lacked much, financially speaking.
Much has gone wrong with our career path and our plans, and essentially nothing that we planned besides our marriage has actually happened. We have given up the military dream, the navy, and the Cryptologic Linguist job, and broadened our horizons to include most every job. Not ideal when we are creatures of passion--longing to pursue only what we love at the expense of our financial prosperity.
We have spent nearly one year with my family, living together, and as of late we've had the pleasure of housing my sister and her four children. That brings the grand total of people in our house to 11. A lot, you know? We've been angry, tired, frustrated, and complained about sharing a home and car after marriage. I would get angry because our plans weren't working out but there is often nothing to be done about it besides letting go of them and moving on. What do you do when you don't have money? Nothing. You do stuff that doesn't cost money and we have had our share of this. We have been blessed with jobs but they have not been regular and have been unrelated to my studies (Computer Science, Spanish).
After 7 months what have we learned? God has a reason for letting our life suck, if you'll allow me to use that terminology. We have been quite angry at times, wondering why God hasn't let us free to be 'successful' like everyone else we know. Why, God, can everyone else do well and work hard but yet you allow me to sit at home and apply for 5,000 jobs without results? It's hard to answer those questions. The answers don't seem to satisfy..
We've learned, although we've known since we were children, that God works things out in a way that is good, and whether or not we agree with it at the time, or ever is going to be up to us. We could be angry about it but it seems that moving on, seeking new employment in less exciting cities has some merit to it. My wife's family is still not seeing eye to eye with us in regards to our marriage, but I'm sure that it will come around. Contentment? Well, I think we've got a long way to go. I am sure that we have learned a lot about being content with very little; being content with what we've been given, until we can move forward.